Sunday, 6 May 2012

12 OF THE BEST: Beastie Boys

Throughout my life I have always had a dislike for rap music. During the early 90's I cringed at dire rubbish like Jazzy Jeff And The Fresh Prince and Kriss Kross, and during the Britpop years I fell into despair every time I heard drivel such as Coolio and Puff Daddy. I was never impressed by the blunt lyrics or the unimaginative arrangements. I had come to the conclusion that all these rappers were talentless idiots without a single brain cell to share between them. 

Then one day in 1998 I heard the world exclusive first play of a new song by the Beastie Boys. I'd heard of the group before, but not actually experienced any of their music until hearing this song. For the first time I had realised that there was a big difference between the watered down pop nonsense called "rap" and real hip hop. This was something completely different: it was powerful, exciting and absolutely fucking crazy. This song in question was 'Intergalactic', and had enough of an impact on me for me to purchase the album 'Hello Nasty', which was gaining glowing reviews everywhere in the music press. At the time this was confusing, I hated rapping yet here I was fascinated by these three nerdy white boys from New York who seemed to have a great love of experimentation and silly, random lyrics that were delivered in a clever enough way for them not to sound too ridiculous. 

They were like a bunch of mad scientists, playing around with bizarre combinations of sounds and defying every rule in the hip hop book, to create a truly innovative concoction. 'Hello Nasty' changed my views on hip hop and made me realise that this genre did produce some excellent music before it declined into songs about girl's asses and songs about being a pimp. Thanks to the Beasties I began to explore the artists who were there back in the day, acts like Public Enemy, Grandmaster Flash, De La Soul and Afrika Bambattaa. All these great acts probably wouldn't be part of my record collection if it wasn't for MCA, Ad Rock and Mike D. 

Thank you guys, a job well done.

"I've Got The Brand New Doo-Doo Guaranteed, 
Like Yoo Hoo, I'm On Like Dr John, Yea Mr Zu Zu, 
I'm A Newlywed, Not A Divorcee, 
And Everything I Do Is Funky Like Lee Dorsey..."

"I got a boat to eat shrimp in
Nothing wrong with my leg just B-boy limpin'
Got arrested at the Mardi Gras for jumping on a float
My man MCA's got a beard like a billy goat..."

"Like Harlem World Battles On The Zulu Beat Show
It's Kool Moe D Vs. Busy Bee There's One You Should Know
Enough Of That, I Just Want To Give Some Respect Due
M.C.A. Grab The Mic And The Ma Bell Will Connect You..."

"Don't step out of this house if that's the clothes you're gonna wear
I'll kick you out of my home if you don't cut that hair
Your mom busted in and said, "What's that noise?"
Aw, mom you're just jealous it's the Beastie Boys!"

"I Can't Stand It I Know You Planned It
But I'm Gonna Set It Straight, This Watergate
I Can't Stand Rocking When I'm In Here
Because Your Crystal Ball Ain't So Crystal Clear"

"I put it with the Monkey mixed it in the cup
Went over to the girl, "Yo baby, what's up?"
I offered her a sip the girl she gave me lip
It did begin the stuff wore in and now she's on my tip"

"Now We be getting stupid in your area 
Causing all kinds of hysteria
My beats is sick like malaria
But don't worry I'll take care of ya"

"Jazz and Awol that's our team
Step inside the party disrupt the whole scene
When it comes to beats well I'm a fiend
I like my sugar with coffee and cream..."

"Got schemes schematics blue prints on file
You gotta have dreams to make it all worthwhile
So as I take my time and realign
I wonder what it is I hope to find
I don't mean to brag I don't mean to boast
But I'm intercontinental when I eat french toast..."

"Get your clothes right out the dryer 
Put armor all up on your tire 
Sport that fresh attire 
Tonight we goin' out set the town on fire 
Set the town ablaze 
Gonna stun and amaze 
Ready to throw a craze 
Make your granny shake her head 
And say, "those were the days"..."

"Parlez romancing into the financing
Opened up a restaurant with Ted Danson
The roaches check in but they never check out
I set the record straight no doubt..."

"Oh, yeah, did I spill the beans?
I see your grandpa in Apple Bottom jeans
A Von Dutch cap, Ugg boots to match
The word gets out, you can't take it back"

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